Dearest Bette,

As a teacher, I spend much energy and time finding and promoting the things that children do well. As an adult, I am very aware of the nest-like position of my classroom. These lovely children will be pushed from the warm nest and into a world that is, perhaps, not as agreeable, loving, or personally satisfying as my little classroom. Society is better at looking at its children and finding the future, positive, and smart nature of each one. We are not so clear about our own possibilities and positive affirmational nature. I have spent time as someone who was good at things as identified by blue ribbons, certificates, grades or other token reinforcers. But, in adulthood there are no real external accolade for a job well done. I get few acknowledgments (except from the loving children children who effuse regularly, perhaps knowing its power?). There are no red carpets or Globes, TV banquets or mass applause. It is not that I imagine such outward support is the key to knowing if one is doing a good job, but I wonder how someone knows when they are good at something. How do I know that I am a good at what I do?

For example, I want to write a book. I have three ideas, all personally and impacting for those readers. Yet, after a doctorate in literacy, teaching reading and writing both to children and to teachers and adults, I just am not sure if I am good enough to have anything anyone wants to hear. There are times I have been successful at writing and others in which my footing was less than stable. So, in such a busy world, how do I know if it is something I should pursue? Will it come with time? experience? When will the wisdom to understand my own talents come? When did it come for you? How do you maintain self-efficacious beliefs?

Are the things that I believe myself to be good at, really those I am great at? Or, is it that my self-esteem suffers from the idea that I could do more, I could do better? Perhaps it is that I just dont know how one knows if what they are doing is really good and if they are really using all of their talents in ways that both serve the world and themselves. So, how dis you know that you were good at what you did and does such an announcement ebb and flow? You have done it all. Please tell me how!