" Hi, Bette. Could we have coffee sometime?"

As an adult, I met Bette after her Vegas show and had an overwhelming feeling of wanting to sit and talk to her over coffee about life, love, and traversing this world, about this adventure called adulthood. Bette has done it, triumphed over this life; she has made it through the ups and downs, the self-questioning of both her gregarious self and the quiet one, and now seems to be in a place where she gets to be accepted as herself, all of her possible selves. I need to talk to her about that journey. This blog is the beginning of my coffee chat, a space for me to talk to Bette and to possibly gain some insight. So, "Hi, Bette. These are my questions and ideas, things I'd like to discuss with you someday."

Friday, April 2, 2010


If I hate certain parts of my job (writing, working on committees) and can get out of them, then why do I feel so bad about not participating? I do not work at a prestigious university; I work at a university that is small and does not have such difficult tenure requirements as others. As such, there is not the need for the publications and proposals in the same way as other places. Yet, I feel less if I am not engaging in such higher education competitive sport. I chose a job situation for which I would be able to make different time choices in regards to writing and publication, but it seems that I can't feel worthy unless I am constantly proving my worthiness in pursuits I don't really enjoy and because of my current job (teaching 5 classes), can't really be competitive in. Or is all of the latter an excuse?

Why do I feel bad not participating in pursuits that I dont like? Is there something I am not seeing?
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